Stories by Haley Hamilton : Contently

PROJECTS

61 projects for 13 clients

melmagazine.com

Inside the Mind of a Drunk With the Munchies

Why does booze make us so ravenous?
All I remember is that it was purple.
When you visit Portland, Oregon, there are a handful of culinary experiences everyone insists you must check off: Salt and Straw, the original Pok Pok, the tin-foil artistry encasing your leftovers from Montage, and of course, Voodoo Doughnut. Admittedly, these places lose their original magnetism when you live in Portland — as I did for several years — but the metabolic impossibility that is a Voodoo doughnut will stic...

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melmagazine.com

Americans Need to Calm the Fuck Down About Absinthe

No, it’s not going to make you hallucinate
Not that long ago, this guy walks into my bar. He gets a beer, fiddles with his beard and stares at the bottles lining the shelves behind me. Eventually, he smirks, flags me down and tells me that our bottle of Lucid, the first American absinthe made in the traditional 19th century French style in nearly a century, isn’t “real absinthe.” He’s had “real absinthe,” he assures me, and it made him “trip so hard, man.”
“Absinthe won’t make you hallucinate...

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melmagazine.com

Things You Can Do to Lend Your Liver a Helping Hand With All That Booze

It’s January. The holidays are over. The cold seems impenetrable. There’s a bomb cyclone on its way.
If there was ever a time to lock yourself indoors and drink for roughly the next three months, it’s now. And yet, tens of thousands of people have chosen to do the exact opposite — turning January into Dryuary, a self-imposed month of no booze.
If you’re not, cheers all the same!
You can, however, split the difference. Which is to say, you can still give a little love to your liver without ski...

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melmagazine.com

A Bartender’s Guide to What You Should Drink When You’re Hung Over

You could say I’m prone to hangovers.
And that’s not because of some genetic failing or predisposition. It’s just that, well, I’m simply not a one-glass-of-wine-at-dinner kind of girl. Call it whatever you want — an occupational hazard, binge drinking, a lack of self-control — I prefer to think of it as a masterful ability to balance work and play.
This, however, has made for some particularly fuzzy mornings, especially whenever I have to close on Saturday only to have to open for Sunday brun...

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melmagazine.com

A Gentleman’s Guide to Getting Properly Shit-faced on New Year’s Eve

My plans for New Year’s Eve will go something like this: At 11:55 p.m., sweat will run down the back of my neck, into the little black dress I was encouraged to wear for the occasion. The drink orders will have been nonstop for hours, but particularly overwhelming the last 10 minutes or so as every table wants a new round to ring in the New Year. There will be no back-up bartender to help, because our manager has pulled someone off the bar to help hand out flutes of free bubbly.
All of it, th...

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melmagazine.com

I’ve Bartended Nearly Every Christmas Day for 30 Years

The Silhouette, a cash-only dive bar with a dart room and free popcorn that’s just west of Fenway Park in the long-time blue-collar neighborhood of Allston, has been open for 53 years. Irene Davis has been behind the bar for 34 of them — and more impressively, she’s worked there on nearly every one of those Christmas Days, too.
A major part of our crowd is regulars, probably 70 percent of the people who come in here I know by name. And most of them have been coming in at least as long as I’ve...

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melmagazine.com

Hot Toddies, Mulled Wine and the Magic of the Warm-Booze Holiday Buzz

There’s an old story, likely apocryphal, about a Russian tour guide (or maybe it was someone in Alaska) who took a group of tourists to Siberia in the dead of winter. Somehow, though, despite the guide’s expertise, they all got lost. “What do we do?” the frightened tourists cried. “Huddle for warmth?”
“Oh come now, do not fear,” the guide responded as she pulled out a flask of vodka. “This will keep us warm.”
She proceeded to open the flask, throw her head back and rip a hearty shot. But befo...

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digboston.com

TIP HAPPENS: ABOUT TRUMP’S PROPOSED CHANGES TO GRATUITY SHARING

If you work in a restaurant, or know someone who works in a restaurant, odds are you have seen or heard about the proposed tip-sharing rule that President Donald Trump’s Department of Labor is considering—and you or your friend are probably pretty pissed off about it.
In sum, the proposition would allow tips to be shared with staff who are currently federally excluded from getting tips, mainly kitchen crew and support staff. And while the thought of coming even close to defending something th...